Snooze Button Defect

Kids just don’t get the concept of snoozing. It’s ‘awake’ or ‘asleep’ – no warm, fuzzy, lazy lazing in bed, eyes closed, thoughts open, aware the day has begun but not quite ready to face it.

That bastion of parental fantasy, that adult pleasure that is free and legal, that loss so keenly felt when it is violently ripped asunder by curious little people.

Daisy is a fabulous sleeper. I am praying to all my non-religious icons that this baby who will shatter my dreams and well as my snoozes in 5 weeks will take after her biggest sister. Daisy falls asleep mid-sentence, sleeps like the dead for 12 hours, then wakes up as brilliantly as a light being switched on and jumps out of bed, happy never-ending sunshine and bouncing for the next 12 hours. There is nothing inbetween.

Poppy on the other hand has many wonderful qualities. Sleeping is not one of them. Sleeping late does not register at all on her scale of important things in life. So it is at 6.30 (A – OMG – M), I am woken by the gentle stroking of my arm and the soft words ,”mummy, I need to do a wee wee.” After I blindly put her on the loo, I urge her back to bed to no avail. In she creeps with me, and I snuggle down, her encased in my arms, and hope, just this once, she’ll fall back to sleep.

But two minutes elapse (during which time she has kicked me several times, and my baby kicks her back so I feel like a football pitch) and turns to me and whispers,

“But mummy, is it morning?” On these summer dawns, it is hard to lie.
“Yes, lovely, but we’re going to snooze for a bit. It’s a bit early.”
More football.
“But mummy, it IS morning?”
“So can I have a story?”

Twenty minutes later we are joined by her sister, all sunshine and bouncing, and we face the day whether I like it or not.

I know teenagers have a reputation for never getting out of bed. Can someone please tell me I don’t have to wait another 9 years??? When does the Snooze Button start functioning? In the meantime, I suppose cuddles and stories aren’t a bad way to start the day.

About Grin & Tonic by Alana Kirk

Bouncing into middle age armed with courage, ambition and a pair of tweezers (chin hairs for anyone over the age of 45 reading this) I am a writer with a mission: to redefine this midway point in my life when the last thing I want to do is hang up my high heels and become invisible. This is the end of the beginning, not the beginning of the end. A single mum to 3 fabulous girls, an author, and a fundraising consultant, both ends of my candle are on fire. As I enter this new stage of my life, I want to explore what it means for 'mid-aged' women today, who were promised they could have it all, ended up doing it all, and just do not identify with the traditional image of middle age.
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3 Responses to Snooze Button Defect

  1. Brittany says:

    I'm with you sister! Although I think you've lucked out having girls (with the gentle-stroking-lets-quietly-read-a-book thing). This is how my morning plays out.

    me: zzzzzzz

    Sam bounds up the stairs, runs across the floor, then pile drives me.

    Sam: Come play trains with me!

    Me: Mumble incoherently–something I hope sounds like “In a minute, sweetie. I'm not quite awake.”

    Sam pounds out of the room. Returns with a handful of wooden trains, which he promptly lobs at my head.

    “Here mommy! Let's play.”

    Me: quickly coming to… feel Sam lift my eyelids up.

    Sam: “Wake up Mommy! Are you awake yet?”

    Returns to playing. Makes ear-drum piercing train horn noise in my ear. “WAAAAAAAAAAHHH! WAAH-WAAH!”

    Eardrum begins ringing.

    Me: “I'm awake now…”

    I'm glad I'm not the only one. Here's hoping your next one is a good sleeper. 🙂


  2. cath c says:

    ladies, i feel your pain. for 15 years now…! my big boys have always been early risers, and with #2, don't get me started on what i had to do to get him to sleep through the night, which included hosptial sleep clinic expert Dr. Ferber himself of the ferberizing technique. suffice to say, morning policy here is a strict adherence to one's bedroom with quiet until 6am. that was the best i could get to stick.

    luckily toots is more of a 730am and lolling in bed cuddles waker.

    my teen now sleeps in til 8 or 9, which will not bode well for first week of school which starts at 720am.

    can't wait!


  3. What a lovely photo. You are absolutely right and I've only just realised it now – children really don't have a snooze button. I've always wondered why I tell my daughter just to have a rest in bed for about ten minutes and she looks at you blankly!


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