The extraordinary ordinary

Tomorrow, I’m having a baby. How strange to write that, to know that, but there it is. About lunchtime actually. Such an ordinary, everyday event. Yet such an extraordinary, primeval, earth-shattering, life-changing event too. Tomorrow I meet my daughter, a person I will love with ferocious intensity for the rest of my life.

As a child I always wanted to be different. I didn’t want to fit in, instead I strived to stand out. I don’t know why. I lived in my imagination, creating stories and imagined experiences, desperate for my perfectly fine, but ordinary, life to become extraordinary. That ambtion took me to Pakistan as a teenager to teach English, threw me into the scrum of women’s rugby, led me to lead an orangutan through the jungles of Borneo and release it into the wild. With every book I devoured, with every word I ingested, my appetite for adventure increased.

I never wanted “the norm” and so I surprised myself along with everyone else when I married the man of my dreams, a wild-hearted adventurer and lover of life. And then it all became a bit serious – we had babies, we had losses, we had job-enforced separation, we had money issues, we had stresses. We had some laughs, we had lots of joy and even the odd little adventure. But I started to feel that old feeling of ordinaryness – a statistic even. Even my heartaches were numbers – one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage. Older mums have a harder time keeping pregnancies. It frightened me.

But as I feel the last kicks of my baby before I hold her in my arms tomorrow, I know that my life is utterly extraordinary. The sheer amazingness of the girls, the joy of being loved by a great man, the thrill of being a mum. In doing the ordinary, I found the extraordinary.

Life is not made extraordinary by the things we do. Life is made extraordinary by the people we love. And tomorrow, I meet a new love of my life. Extraordinary, don’t you think?

About Grin & Tonic by Alana Kirk

Bouncing into middle age armed with courage, ambition and a pair of tweezers (chin hairs for anyone over the age of 45 reading this) I am a writer with a mission: to redefine this midway point in my life when the last thing I want to do is hang up my high heels and become invisible. This is the end of the beginning, not the beginning of the end. A single mum to 3 fabulous girls, an author, and a fundraising consultant, both ends of my candle are on fire. As I enter this new stage of my life, I want to explore what it means for 'mid-aged' women today, who were promised they could have it all, ended up doing it all, and just do not identify with the traditional image of middle age.
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7 Responses to The extraordinary ordinary

  1. cath c says:


    i can't believe how fast this day seems to have come!

    blessings and a beautiful delivery to you, your new little darling and the rest of your wonderful family. joy!


  2. Foodie Mummy says:

    Hope everything goes well for you. It is a wonderful thing to meet another human being that you created. Will be thinking of you! X


  3. Brittany says:

    How exciting! Can't wait to hear all about her. Good luck tomorrow!


  4. Oh how wonderful. Well today is tomorrow – it's Tuesday. Hope it all went well. Can't wait to hear! xx


  5. Mary says:

    WOW!!!! I've been away so long and here it is time ALREADY. Hope all went smoothly and can't wait to hear.


  6. platespinner says:

    Oh, how exciting! I hope all went well. Can't believe where the time has gone. Sending you all best wishes x


  7. Bella says:

    So sweet. Good Luck! Can't wait to hear all about your new addition!


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