January Jitters

Is it just me, or is January just jaded and jittery? I can’t settle to anything and my inner Task Master, my brain’s Sergeant Major, my Queen of to-do seems to have taken a winter sun holiday, leaving me alone and lost. Instead of marching through the days ticking off lists, I get distracted, overwhelmed, outnumbered, outsourced. My daughters have noticed. They ask for chocolate and I give it to them. They whine that they want to stay in and dress up rather than go for a walk. I shrug my shoulders and say ok. My Fearless Fight must have joined Sergeant Major in the Maldives.

I fought very hard to get writing in the right place, to have a spot for it, to have several whole hours dedicated to it. But now, I find myself hoovering under the sofa. I never hoover under the sofa. The house is silent – little people are off being amused by other big people, the house is clean – did that yesterday, the house has no need to be cooked in today – all taken care of, the house is expecting me to come up with something interesting, and intriguing and irresistibly original. And I’m hoovering under the sofa. Not creating, not thinking, not researching, and certainly, most definitely, not writing my book.

My Muse, my inner Writing Wizard, my Mental Manager clearly suffers from SAD (seasonal affective disorder). She won’t take off her thermals and come out of hibernation until the clock strikes midnight and banishes January for another year. That gives me three more days to languish in lethargy. And when the sun rises on February first – I expect to see daffodils in the garden, birds singing in the trees, and budding bursts of creativity on my laptop. Three more days. Then the thermals are gone, the sleepy head is cleared and the gloves are off.
As some great man said (I think it was Oscar Wilde) – the art of writing is the art of putting one’s arse on a chair. So three more days and I’ll muster my mojo and then go sit at the table. The chocolate tin will be firmly shut. In the meantime…. another cup of tea.

About Grin & Tonic by Alana Kirk

Bouncing into middle age armed with courage, ambition and a pair of tweezers (chin hairs for anyone over the age of 45 reading this) I am a writer with a mission: to redefine this midway point in my life when the last thing I want to do is hang up my high heels and become invisible. This is the end of the beginning, not the beginning of the end. A single mum to 3 fabulous girls, an author, and a fundraising consultant, both ends of my candle are on fire. As I enter this new stage of my life, I want to explore what it means for 'mid-aged' women today, who were promised they could have it all, ended up doing it all, and just do not identify with the traditional image of middle age.
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3 Responses to January Jitters

  1. cath c says:

    alana, we writers at creative construction seem to all be in same boat. we’re setting a february writing challenge and support group. for any of us who need to start or finish a project we’ve been avoiding, we have 28 days to do what needs to be done. and we’re all in it together.

    Like

  2. that girl? says:

    Not so much with the writing but more in everything else! This January has left me feeling absolutely blurgh and I can’t wait for it to be over! I keep questioning my lack of direction and choices this month and desperately need to summon some enthusiasm from somewhere. I need sunlight!

    Like

  3. neeser says:

    I can totally sympathize. I’ve been trying to write my masters thesis for six months now. And for the last month I’ve simply been trying to figure out what is WRONG with me, and why can’t I just make some REAL progress. Thank you for sharing your struggle. It’s comforting to know that I’m not the only one having this kind of problem.

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