There are some wonderful words being bandied about these days to describe modern maternity methods – positive parenting; raise your praise, not your voice; reward not reprimand. All sounds very pretty. All sounds very fluffy. But we all know what it really means. A less pretty word. The golden rule to happy parenting is – bribery.
Now I’m not dishng it. I started Daisy on sticker charts at about 18 months and was amazed how her behaviour changed (to my way of thinking!). Now I have three star charts on the go. Daisy needs 20 stars for eating her meals properly and she gets a small treat from the toy shop. Poppy is working (slooooowly) towards 10 stars for sleeping through the night – all she wants is a Jelly Baby. I can live with that – bad teeth for good sleep – sure isn’t parenting all about compromise?? And of course at the moment, we have the potty training star chart – frankly she can have the entire toy shop if we get to the end of that one.
But there are other levels too. I threaten quite a lot (sorry, positively persuade). No TV if I get to three and you are still putting the cat in the washing machine. No Peppa Pig toys for a day if I count to three and you are still biting Daisy’s arm off. We can use the right words, or we can be honest. Bribery. Threats. Extortion. I’ve decided to change my blog name from Mummy Mania. I’m now Mummy Mafia. Now I’m off to make them an offer they can’ refuse.
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